The Restless Nights
Ever have those nights where you just cannot seem to go to sleep? Sometimes I have those nights, many times actually, I find myself caught in a whirling that is going 100 miles per his In my mind. Thinking about this and thinking about that, how yesterday was, what today did bring and what tomorrow may hold. You really never know. I find myself caught in the middle of a restless night, some nights I decide I’ll just write, others I’ll give it all my might to stay up all night. Then sometimes I just end up sleeping, out like a light.
However, as I write it is yet again another restless night. So many things going on, so much to ponder sometimes, I look back and I have to ask,
“God, how’d we end up here?”
Of course I ask it in a good manner others may look at our situation and think its quite pitiful and I’ll admit sometimes it can be rather bumpy, but if it weren’t for a few bumps here and there then we never would of known just how much jostling around our spirits could handle. You see when you truly know God, when you are of good courage and hope in the Lord he WILL strengthen your heart. (Psalm 31:24)
But we must know God ourselves, we must know him personally, because you see, he already knows who you are. But he wants YOU to get to know who HE is and he wants YOU to hope in him so that he CAN strengthen your heart! Because the fact of the matter is without God our hearts are weak, they are vile and downright wicked. But WITH God ALL things are possible! We just MUST trust in him! Philippians 4:13 says that we can do ALL things through Christ who gives us STRENGTH. But we must FIRST put our TRUST in him!
As I write this I think to myself, how is it that I got here at this very moment? Could it be that God, the wonderful great Jehovah knew I’d be here? Could it be that he planned this very moment and he knew I’d be writing this very blog post at this very hour this very night I write. Yes that is very well so, because God is always in control! And if we truly know God, then we will know that we as his children have NOTHING to worry about.
But as I write this I’m thinking to myself,
“Nathan, now… You’re getting off subject, it’s late yes. But there is so much to be done… Give me one more day, and a month goes by, I have so much to say but so little time and the year is almost gone and time keeps slipping away.”
Young I know, but mind swarming with thoughts, ideas, and other daily events is many.. Sometimes it’s as if I cannot get it to shut off even when I take some tea or medicine to help me sleep… But even though sometimes I miss sleep I know that it must be for some reason, some purpose, because I believe everything happens for a reason and a purpose, now I know I’m young. And I know there are horrible things that happen each day, but I also know God and I know there is another half yet to be told.
Another thought I have is that many people say to me:
“Nathan, watching you preach is quite difficult sometimes, you are young, you have yet to live your life, you don’t know what trials or troubles and tribulations really are. So it’s hard to watch someone your age preach about such things.”
Not just one, or two, or three have given this similar comment to me but MANY. Many tell me, and yes.. I am young. There are many things I’ve yet to live, but one.. I KNOW God…
I know God when I’ve seen him raise my grandpa from the dead every single time, I know God when I was in the dark basement without food for days locked up and he delivered me. I know God when I was forced to stay in the bed all day locked up in a room, I know God when I was scalded in the shower at four years old. I know God when my stepdad (that was a “preacher”) also slammed my hands in scalding broth when I was just watching dumplings boil. I know God when that same man made me eat dog food before I could have a piece of pizza just so he could be entertained. I know God when my mom left again this last time in 2010 and caused me and my family all that pain and then returned 2 years later after much prayer and fasting alike from myself, and others.
I know God when every member of my family should be dead of something but we are alive and well and most of us are kicking the devils teeth out each day that we continue to live for God. I know God when I told my grandma at a young age in a place where things were so hard that one day we’d have a tour bus and nearly 9 years later God delivered. I know God when I’ve seen time and time again that we may not have much but we always have enough to make it through. I know God in the middle of the night, I know God that he is the light. I know God has seen us through and I know God is true.
When people tell me I’m young and cannot be taken seriously I almost laugh, I do admit I love being crazy and it’s a big part of me. But for the most part I’m much more serious than most guys my age and when it comes to God I am very serious and with what God shows me anytime someone says to me or I say to myself that I am too young and will not be taken seriously God says, look at Jeremiah and I apply that scripture to myself as I’m sure most young people who are serious for God do.
But the Lord said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak.
Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord. – (Jeremiah 1:7, 8 KJV)
I will go where he tells me to go, I will say what he tells me to say I will not be afraid of their faces for I know he is with him to deliver me.
I hope you receive something as you’ve read this from my restless nights writings.
May Yahweh bless you and keep you.
May Yahweh make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.
May Yahweh lift up his countenance on you and may yahweh give you peace! -Numbers 6:24-26
Blessings and SHALOM in JESUS alone!