Blessings and SHALOM in Jesus alone, today I would like to write about some things that have been on my mind for the past few months now, I just needed to find a way to express myself fully. So without further ado…
The Holidays have been and are always a bit of a conflicting and complicated time for me personally, due to my family’s situation with things in the past with my mom and what not: I am constantly torn up inside about it. It eats away at me more than I let on and some days are harder than others. I fight away the anger each day, fighting to stay sane because sometimes the situation gets me incredibly upset. I’m sure there are some who might be able to relate. But with Gods help I am able to move past it and I choose every day to be BETTER and NOT bitter. And some days it is just really hard. But I move past that, I keep pushing forward.
Because greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. I have had many friends tell me after really getting to know me, that they can’t believe I am as nice and caring of a person as I am considering all I’ve been through in my short life, they tell me they’ve known people that have gone off the deep end. People that go out and do drugs and get drunk and steal and get arrested and just hate the world. So it’s always amazing to them that I’m the way I am, but I tell them. I battle with the anger sometimes, I’m sure we all do. But I choose to be good, I choose to do good, but most importantly…
Choose To SEE Good:
I choose to SEE good, in this world. Even though it feels like it’s not there. Because life can be so dark and so cold and so painful and full of such despair and hate and anger and bitterness and death and sadness and heartache and tears and destitution and desolation. But I choose to look beyond what I see and I choose to see the good first. I choose it so much so that it happens for me automatically, I am almost to the point where I don’t even have to try anymore. I just look at something and see the good in it. Even if it’s just a speck. But it wasn’t always that easy. And there isn’t always good. I have been hurt and abandoned and ridiculed and mocked and hated by “friends” “family” for what I believe, for what I have stood for. Because I believe in a just and holy God. I’ve been harshly ridiculed, things I don’t even talk about.
All because I said I believed in God’s truth. Things that would make some people want to just lock themselves away and never talk to anyone ever again. But I overcome those things, I refuse to live that way. I refuse to live in pain, I refuse to live in darkness and despair. I refuse to live in fear, I refuse to live hidden from the world because I am called to be a light and what good is a light hidden under a bush? What good is a light that has been blown out by the evilness of this world from the devil himself? What good can that light do?
I could very easily never talk to anyone ever again, I could very easily choose to see only pain and hate and dark, cold, bitter despair in this world. I could choose to believe that there are only fake backstabbing lying scumbags in this world. I could choose to believe that. But what kind of a Christian would that make me? The whole purpose of my faith is to be like Christ? Where would we be if Christ chose to believe like that? If he chose to believe that none of us were capable of change and we should all just die?
We would all be dead, in hell. Many of us might not ever have even existed. But no, Jesus chose to look beyond that and in spite of our wickedness, in spite of our sins in spite of our iniquities he chose love. He chose the greatest form of love there can ever be, he chose to die for us so that we might be saved from hell. Imagine if he’d stayed hidden from the world, imagine if he chose to let darkness win. Imagine. I don’t want to imagine. Do you? No, it’s too easy to live that way. I refuse to, I have told myself this every since I was very young and I will forever stick to this belief. People will fail you, they will. They will hurt you, they will. That’s life. They will ridicule you, they will mock you and they will try and destroy you.
There will always be that type of evil in this world. But in locking ourselves away, we let that evil win. It doesn’t matter what other people do, what truly matters is what WE do as true servants of Christ.
There may be heartache and pain and anger and sickness and sadness and death and tears and hunger and poverty and war and hatred and bitterness and despair. That is this life in which we live. But I believe that good will always conquer evil. Because In life there is also, love, joy and laughter and peace and friends and family and kindness and caring and sharing and giving and helping others. There are so many great people, beautiful wonderful people in this world that have beautiful wonderful souls and they are loved by God they are special to God so special that he gave his son to die for them on the cross. For all of us.
So how can we not have love for people? How can we not have compassion and how can we not care? Hundreds of thousands of people die every day and only God knows where their soul stands, how can that not bother us? How could that not make us want to be as bright a light as we can. How on earth can that not make us want to go out into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature? Because that’s exactly what Jesus commanded of us, many times throughout the scripture he tells us to be a light that we are a light and that we are to be his workmanship. Witnessing and most importantly, being a witness for him.
And that is what I will always do, I’m a people person. I have always had such a deep compassion for people, and a love for life. It’s a Christ like compassion I suppose. Because life is beautiful. How could it not be?
This is the day which the lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it. – Psalms 118:24 KJV
We rejoice because God made it and God is in it and therefore it is good. I refuse to believe there is ever bad days. Only bad things that can happen in those days.
Because a day that God allows us to wake up and have breath is a great day indeed.
For life is beautiful.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!